| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2007|11:30 am] |
i have been irritable and hating everyone as of late
and missing the people far away terribly
but that is easy because I do not deal with them on a daily basis and so pedestals for them to rest on form instantly
and it is easy to deplore those around you when all you want to do is sit in a comfy chair and read for hours on end, escaping into someone else's life and they keep inadvertanty pestering you with their lound screeches and giggling about nothing
maybe i am doing this subconsciously because i do not know the next time i will see any of them
i am going back east and it will most likely be at least two years until i step foot back on oregon soil
it is easier to singe off with a spark and a painful remark that you can put in the back of your mind instead of a long, drawn out affair of mourning about the space between you
in other news:
i read the last harry potter in less than two days.
i pretty much got it and read, slept, worked, read, slept, read, worked, and finished it. was good, the format different from the others.
I cried when I finished, not because of the ending of the book, but because I thought of the christmas morning that I received it ten years ago, and how it had been so secret and special to me and then the ensuing calamity a few years later when everyone in america discovered it and how i felt my special space was gone. i also cried for all that happened in the past ten years since i first learned of harry. the good and the bad. and then i fell asleep. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2007|03:06 pm] |
i am hardly ever online anymore because bry and i lost our free internet because all of our neighbors put passwords on their wireless. so whenever i can make it to the library to wait in line for a computer which i get kicked off of after an hour, then i can check my e-mail, lj, fb, etc. but yesterday and today i was able to borrow my friend cara's laptop and sit in the powells cafe, drinking iced americanos and working on road trip plans. which is going to be fucking amazing. it will be lorenzo, me, sarah, and angela if everything goes as planned and we will be hitting the four courners, chilling in mexico, going to graceland and driving a hell of a lot. it should be fun, sweaty and adventerous.
it is also crazy to think that I plan on leaving the 10th of aug. and that is less than a month away. and then i may not be back in oregon for another 2 years. shit that is scary. i have been having trouble realizing that my future plans are becoming more foggy than ever. i want to end up on the west coast, but so many people that i love and the connections that i am making are on the east. whatever, at least i do not have to make that decision for another three years. also, i am missing my family waaaaay more than i had ever expected. they plan on moving back to the west, but who knows if they actually will considering their track record. but fuck dc, it sucks. no matter how many free museums it has.
mmmmk, i am going to find a park to lay in and read, as today is my day off. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 20th, 2007|10:50 pm] |
ahhh been very bad about updating
*go smashed at pride on sunday with my gay friends
what can i say, people love to buy me rounds of shots
*have just been work, work, working
*watching movies
*going to yoga
**tonight i went out to dinner with bry at alexis, a greek restaurant
had soup, salad, and flaming haloumi
was good
even though the teenage waiter said "haupa!" when he lit my cheese on fire |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2007|10:13 pm] |
today i....
*went to my grand central product meeting where I tourned the Fremont bakery and learned how they make everythink from croissants to bacon soup. i got a garden veg sandwich and triply soy latte
*then i came home and did chore shit like contacted the registrar, called about the car, etc
*researched tattoo artists in portland and looked at more designs to help me develop what i want in my sleeve
*finished project runway season 1. i so need to find a way to be friends with jay and austin
*went to fedex and soon realized the post office was much cheaper
*helped kara move some shit from her dorm to our apartment
*made peanut tofu and salad
*did laundry
now i am going to paint |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2007|12:36 am] |
today i....
*worked with ashley, who i fucking love. then dropped off a bag of pastries at tony's, cause bry and i are doing a pastry purge this week as we have eaten way too many fucking sweets in the past two weeks.
*get peppinos for dinner. mmmmm fish tacos with extra sauce
*am now having a project runway marathon with bry and em and drinking black butte porter. it has provided us with the new saying "the challenge is sucking my asshole inside-out." |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2007|08:12 pm] |
alright so horible, horrible job of staying updated, especialy since my life is not that exciting, but...
yesterday i......
*helped bry clean the apartment because his parents came up from corvallis. his father and nancy are so cute and funny and bought us wonderful presents life stumptown coffee, hummus, toothpaste, chevre and pledge (which bryan sprayed on the floor and i keep slipping)
*went to work, nothing of note really, except that ashley kicks ass
**when i got home from work bry and i decided to get american dream (new portland store is good, although pricier and not quite as good) and watch the basketball diaries. matthias came over, we bought beer, and for some reason i thought the movie was going to be a feel-good coming of age story about young boys in NYC. nope, it was about pubescent heroine addicts. still good though.
today i......
*got woken up by the car appraisal man, who was quite nice and helpful, even though he came an hour earlier than scheduled
*watched the L word
*looked for yoga and glass blowing classes online
*bought daddy a token father's day present from a neat store on hawthorne that has ton of cool plastic toys and robots
*went to the library for two hours and looked at art books
*went utrecht and bought acrylics and gel matte
*went to powells and wrote down the names of things i want to read. also bought MADE magazine and used copies of bastard out of carolina and one hundred years of solitude
now i will probably make some dinner, read, and wait for bry to get off work and maybe do something of maybe just watch old episodes of will and grace on tv-links |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2007|03:10 pm] |
so i just talked to rachel on the phone for an hour and i am not going to get to hear her voice for like two months because she is leaving for cambodia tomorrow
and now i have the most intense need to get drunk, like smashed, in order to not think about it
why is there no alcohol in this apartment?
boo i hate separation anxiety |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2007|08:43 pm] |
soooo i am already doing a great job of posting daily but, had company--ryan and alex--so a little understandable
day before yesterday had my first day at grand central
*met up with alex
*got coffee at half and half, looked at children's books at powells
*had dinner with ry and alex on trendy third at the longwood, had a bomb portabello burger
*chilled at my apartment
*signed up for blockbuster's version of netflix
yesterday i....
*went to work
*had pizza with alex and em
*people came over and we chilled, drank beer and i went to bed
today i
*went to work
*helped alex move into her house
*now i am going to take a shower, cause i got like ten facials while doing dishes at work and hopefully read, maybe watch science of sleep, maybe meet up with em and people
i must sign up for a yoga class soon |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 29th, 2007|11:24 pm] |
today i woke up and had interview calls from grand central bakery, sip and kranz, and whole foods
i made coffee with bry and took a shower
we got coffee at blend on burnside and 24th
i had a good interview at grand central and go back tomorrow for a trial on the floor
then i met emmy at powels
we got coffee at sip and kranz and chatted and read and i finished "she's come undone"
then emily had a great bowel movement in the first bathroom (she wanted me to mention this)
went back to my apartment
we drank blake butte porter and i burned stirfry
we read together on my couch and listened to otis redding
now i will drive her home and try to get ready for my 8am wake-up call |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2007|10:27 pm] |
i decided i needed to chronicle my life
to remeber in the future
and i am too forgetful of books and things to be able to write it down in the same place with pen and paper
so i will do it here
sorry if it is boring, you don't have to read if you do not like
i understand
this is for selfish purposes
*i met up with bry and alex (a delightful new gay boy) at sip and kranz and had a cappucino
*i then sat outside at anna bananas and read for four hours with an iced coffee and a pack of camel lights at my side
*i interviewed at the little river cafe
*i came home and watched fur, a fictional story about diane arbus, with bry and kara and ate coconut sorbet
*i also went to safeway and bought thumbtacks |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 21st, 2007|01:46 pm] |
i am supposed to be looking for a desk and something to keep my folded clothes in on craigslist
but instead i am reading lj and eating granola
life in portland is good
things with bry are great
tripping down to corvallis this weekend was much fun, cause i miss all my friends there so very much
but the town is just too damn small and i have changed too damn much
i really do know now that while i love the town i grew up in, there is no way i could still live there
i drove past my old house and cried
ate america dream twice, even though i was only there a little over 48 hours
drove down to eugene, watched the folk life festival, brough back lovelies to chill for a while longer
i must go job hunting today
but i hate whoring myself out
and having to start a new job and prove myself
i can do this i can do this i can do this
i just need to get rid of this panicky feeling in my tummy
i wish i could just be bry's housewife
cooking soup, doing laundry and reading to dante, our beautiful beta fish
oh dear! i am in great need of fruit, have not had it in days
must go to winco |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 9th, 2007|10:10 pm] |
i will be home in a week and a day
and i really can't wait
the end of this year has been weird to say the least
some of the most beautiful people have come into my life
and i could not be more thankful for that
some amazing souls have left my vicinity as well
which i mourn, but at this point, can do nothing about
wow how my life has changed since i was unpacking everything in september
things evolved so rapidly
i have grow
and apparently so have the dust bunnies under my bed
because my suitcases are COVERED in them
and are now all over my room
well back to my giant bottle of cabernet sauvignon and rather large pile of crap that needs to be moved into storage |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 2nd, 2007|11:25 pm] |
i had a wonderful, wonderful birthday extravaganza
on my birthday i got to go out to coffee for 2 1/2 hours with one of my favorite photo teachers
then i went out to dinner with like 20 of my closest friends
then we had a cocktail party at my house, then around 12 aaron's band played and it was great fun and nattie came out and everybody danced
and then i woke up at 10 am and began drinking momosas and saw spoon and smoked a happy birthday doobie with amanda in the mud, cause i hadn't really smoked in foreeeeeeever and everything was great
but.....now i hate college
i have marvelous friends who i have to say goodbye to for at least four months, some for a year, some for a year and a half, some forever.
AND IT FUCKING HURTS
i say that life is good because i just like hearing people's stories, learning from them, and then moving on to meet more
and i am so so so happy to see all my lovelies in oregon
but fuck
i have been living with some of these people for a year
how can i just pack up and say goodbye?
p.s.
i am now a college junior
eep |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 3rd, 2007|03:25 am] |
i chipped one of my bottom front teeth
and my for the past eight hours my tongue has done nothing but rub against its scratchy surface
please make it stop |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 1st, 2007|03:40 pm] |
today is a very pretty day outside
i wish that i had a laptop and was not stuck in the computer lab
last night i ate lots of good food, hung out with good people, and got to talk to friends i love and miss very much
i am trying to focus on positive things
for it seems that many of the people in my life seem to be destroying themselves in various ways
and i can't go back to those places in my mind
i have worked too hard to be set free
so now i am working on one of my ten papers due is this next month
at least to the computer lab has a really high ceiling so that i do not feel suffocated |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 30th, 2007|06:30 pm] |
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i wish i lived in a place where there was 24 hours sunlight everyday |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2007|07:41 pm] |
have been in NYC since saturday
staying with my beyond lovely jeffy bausemer
went graveyard scoping and totally tresspassed
but doesn't matter cause i got some sick shots of this weird racially segregated cemetary in brooklyn
got hopeless drunk at this funky 80s dance clus in the east village on st. patties
even got to dance onstage with the djs
been spoiling myself with delicious food, last night was paruvian
today i spent spent 5 hours at the moma
who knows what tomorrow will bring |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 2nd, 2007|01:37 am] |
tonight i felt drunk off intellect
it was one great experience
and i so wish it happened more often
the truly worthwhile events of college really only seem to happen outside of the classroom |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2007|07:13 pm] |
OMFG
hearing about people who i went to high school with getting engaged/being married scares the shit out of me
like feeling like i am going to puke each time i hear a new one
is that bad of me?
i think i might be missing the marriage gene |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 8th, 2007|11:59 pm] |
tonight i ate etheopian food with my fingers
it was yummers
i have been invited to too many parties this weekend
i seriously love spending so much time talking to ms. charlotte chapman
we have good conversations about interesting topics
i have become addicted to This American Life which streams through the internet for free
i also have discovered the joys of NPR podcasts
i have procrastinated with writing this paper waaaaaay too long |
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